DEAR ABBY: My husband, “Randall,” was a widower when we met. His wife, “Sylvia,” had passed away in November 2010. We got married in October 2015. I recently was shocked to discover that Randall has kept Sylvia’s Facebook page open, supposedly so his grandchildren can send her messages on her birthday or anytime they feel like it.
Last September, he posted a message that read: “Happy Anniversary. Love you and miss you. 52 years today.” (If she were still living, that day would have marked 52 years of marriage.) When I read it, I realized that, in his heart, he still feels married to her. Am I wrong for feeling that way? — ONE OF TWO WIVES
DEAR ONE: I don’t think you are wrong, but please understand that some people don’t completely get over the death of a loved one, and your husband may be one of them. It’s not that unusual, if my Facebook is any example. People post about their departed parents, grandparents and even their pets, and memorial pages on Facebook after a person’s demise are not unusual.
If you and Randall have a good marriage, I suggest you develop a sense of humor about it. Sylvia is not a threat to you unless you make her one. Knowing that may lighten your load.
DEAR ABBY: We are a middle-aged couple who live together. I have been with “Jack” for seven years, and during those seven years, he held down one job for only three months and then quit. I love him, but I don’t believe the feeling is mutual if he can’t hold down a job and keep it. He never goes anywhere with me. Jack is a recluse. What should I do? Should I keep him or tell him it’s time to pack up and leave? — FINALLY FED UP IN OHIO
DEAR FINALLY FED UP: I don’t know Jack, and you have not listed even one of his virtues. Unless your idea of a happy future is supporting a recluse who refuses to hold a steady job, it’s time to sing, “Hit the road, Jack!”
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.